At Silverstone Ducati racked up their seventh consecutive mind-numbing podium lockout. So as to add extra despair to the scenario each single race however one on this stinking season has been gained by a Ducati GP24 machine. If MotoGP had been a fruit it might one way or the other be a potato.
When will this putrid parade of conformity finish? And the way will it finish? Who is aware of? However in an effort to maintain our weighty eyelids energised we at MGPN have unexpectedly knocked up a shortlist of the six prime causes, from most probably to least seemingly, that Ducati’s podium lockouts might finish in Austria.
The particular rear tyre
There’s a saying in France “when the going will get powerful, the locals disguise in a nook ingesting espresso till the powerful disappears because of another person” – which was additionally the title of a much less profitable Billy Ocean tune.
And this traditional French philosophy carries over properly to the Michelin tyre firm. Why? Properly the Pink Bull Ring is mainly three lengthy, flexible straights linked to a few corners with a format that would have been based mostly on a chunk of dropped spaghetti. The uniquely primitive design ends in excessive speeds and excessive masses on the tyres…and like in ’39 the usual French effort would fall to items beneath such stress.
So a brand new particular, pink banded tyre (probably made by the heroes at Dunlop) is in motion in Austria…which can not favour the Ducati. But it surely in all probability will.
KTM check observe
KTM have robust ties with Pink Bull. There’s nothing the unruly youth of right now love greater than stealing a 125 Duke while on a sugar and caffeine excessive from their favorite power drink. However concern not – it’s not their fault they’ve ADHD or Hamburgers or one thing conveniently introduced on by ingesting an excessive amount of Pink Bull and stealing KTM Dukes.
With such interwoven ties it stands to motive that the Austrian motorbike agency would use the Pink Bull Ring as their check observe. They usually do.
Apparently the microscopic Dani Pedrosa has accomplished so many laps across the observe that he can now solely flip proper after getting off the bed on a morning.
All of which signifies that KTM ought to have some dwelling benefit over the foreigners this weekend. However sufficient? In all probability not.
Zarco vs Morbidelli Spherical 2
Let’s simply hope this doesn’t occur.
Hitler protest
It’s comforting to know that your entire planet goes to shit and quickly escalating to anarchy. Not content material with a number of repulsive wars the remainder of the world is politically splitting with a crack opening up larger and extra revolting than something Lizzo can plonk on the desk.
There’s by no means been a greater time for some cheeky Neo Nazis to band collectively for some right-wing shenanigans. And what higher place to begin this than the non secular dwelling of mein führer himself?
If this does occur, and we see no motive why it wouldn’t, the mischievous supremacist organisation might select to ‘detain’ any rider that’s not blonde haired and blue eyed…which might end in a well-known default victory for Brad Binder.
Climate
It’s not simply the people on the planet which have develop into wild and irresponsible. The climate, not figuring out if its pronouns are ‘moist/wetter’, ‘wind/windy’ or ‘annoy/annoying’, has determined to get in on the motion by doing what the hell it needs when it needs. And in the event you don’t prefer it then it’s a hate crime. (Sadly, this might simply be a factor by the point this text is posted).
However it being the center of summer time there’s each likelihood that the climate might have been misgendered on the Naschmarkt so decides to rain tears of hate onto the poor sods on the Pink Bull Ring.
Sadly the Ducati is, like every part else, additionally good within the moist. Nevertheless there’s at all times a mathematical likelihood of some superior first nook mayhem (most probably attributable to Morbidelli) that would conveniently take down the Ducati riders.
Yodelling
Now everyone knows that each one Austrians like to yodel. It’s taught by means of faculties in Austria together with the possible areas of the misplaced Nazi stolen gold. The origins of yodelling come from when the buxom pigtailed, Austrian wives would journey up into the mountains to hold down pails of milk. Typically while the wives had been up accumulating the milk the husbands (who had been just a few steins in) would overlook what time to place the schnitzels within the oven so developed the strategy of yodelling as a manner of communication.
We’re unsure how yodelling might negatively have an effect on Ducati’s close to good run however we’re clutching at straws right here.
