A while quickly, Gigi Dall’Igna has to decide on who can be team-mate to Pecco Bananas within the manufacturing unit Ducati workforce for 2025.
This selection is more durable than making an attempt to pronounce the title of the final chicane at Assen with out struggling {a partially} ruptured gizzard.
Pecco is a strong quantity 2 rider. He’s in all probability the weakest rider ever to win again to again world titles within the high class. He received the #1 plate two years in a row largely by being a secure pair of arms on the very best bike in the very best workforce towards extremely flaky team-mates. (Also called “doing a Hodgson”). However with KTM having signed the jaw-droppingly proficient Pedro Acosta, Ducati want a correct lunatic to be their number one rider within the manufacturing unit workforce.
Let’s assist Gigi out by going by his doable choices.
Martinator
Professional: Jorge Martin is already on a manufacturing unit Ducati bike, sooner than Pecco and an entire nutter.
Con: Tendency to lob the bike on the surroundings.
Escalator
Professional: A mechanical staircase would definitely assist Ducati get on the rostrum.
Con: 10 metres lengthy and weighs 15,000kg (coincidentally, these are the very same important statistics as Danilo Petrucci).
Investigator
Professional: Lieutenant Columbo can be an amazing selection to research chatter and go up towards Quick Freddie when interesting his loopy penalties.
Con: Columbo is a horrible driver and doubtless can’t experience a motorbike in any respect.
Circumnavigator
Professional: Former world document holder for solo circumnavigation of the globe Ellen Macarthur can be nice in moist climate.
Con: Not famend for her prowess on dry land.
Defibrillator
Professional: Might resuscitate Davide Tardozzi when the antics of Marc Marquez give him a coronary heart assault.
Con: Would possibly intrude with Ducati’s on-board electronics.
Commentator
Professional: Might rating factors on a paddock scooter when there have been lower than 15 riders on observe.
Con: Could be laborious to cease mechanics decking a commentator as they’re all gobby idiots.
Emancipator
Professional: Abraham Lincoln was good at profitable wars, which might turn out to be useful within the battle towards KTM.
Con: Tendency to get taken out by lunatics would make him a catastrophe magnet like Miguel Oliveira.
Procrastinator
Coudn’t be arsed writing something for this part.
Spectator
Professional: Dragging a random spectator out of the gang to experience the bike, like Bruce Springsteen did in his music video, would make an amazing viral clip.
Con: Bradley Smith may need a ticket.
Excavator
Professional: A JCB digger would carry out brilliantly in gravel traps.
Con: JCB diggers are a lot cooler than MotoGP bikes, which might detract from the present.
Prestidigitator
Professional: Jerry Sadowitz is a superb prestidigitator (magician) and can be extremely humorous.
Con: He can be banned from all venues and deported from a lot of the international locations on the calendar as a consequence of his sick sense of humour.
Dictator
Professional: North Korean chief Kim Jong-un would convey nice curiosity to the game as the primary head of state to compete in MotoGP.
Con: He’d win each race by about 40 seconds.
Conclusion
We don’t envy Gigi. Having to decide on between this bunch is nigh-on unimaginable.
